 The Coldplay of the Supermarket and Other Nutritional NinniesBy
Mark Peters
I don’t know much about Coldplay, but I know enough to know that my street cred—already rating -43 mega-fonzies—could be squandered completely by admitting I like them.  The Willie Nelson of Pin-up Girls and Other Cheech & Chong-y CheesecakeBy
Mark Peters
What does it take to be the Willie Nelson of something? How hard can it be? For your benefit and mine, I’ve compiled a list…  The Ringo of the Alphabet and Other Literary LosersBy
Mark Peters
We’d all like to be the John, Paul, or George of our place of employment, circle of friends, or council of supervillains working to blow up the sun. Sadly, most of us are not that essential. We are Ringos, like Ringo himself.  The Spinal Tap Drummer of Terrorists and Other Code Orange CreepsBy
Mark Peters
“Spinal Tap drummer” is an archetype, like the trickster/coyote or the mailman who kills everybody. As you probably know, the Tap had strong continuity in all positions but drummer; the wielders of those unlucky sticks fell victim to catastrophes such as gardening accidents and spontaneous combustion, plus choking on someone else’s vomit.  The Bono of UFOlogy and Other Space CasesBy
Mark Peters
Most uses of “the Bono of X” have nothing to do with this unbelievable record of musical accomplishment and awesomeness. Instead, Bono is a reference point for noisy spokesmanship—sometimes as praise, often not.  The Lady Gaga of the Shoe World and Other Podiatry ParablesBy
Mark Peters
In record time, Lady Gaga has become a reference point as commonly cited as the North Star or The Simpsons. Besides her talents—which I am unqualified to judge, and even less interested in thinking about—I think there’s another reason for her success: gaga is just a damn fun word to say. Gaga! Gaga! It’s addictive.  The Huey Lewis of Serial Killers and Other Cheeseball SleazeballsBy
Mark Peters
It does seem suspicious that two of the most famous Hueys are a dorky pop singer and an animated duck. Those two haven’t exactly done the name proud. Black Panther Huey P. Newton tried to bad-assify the name, but it didn’t take. I still think of the duck and the doofus first.  The Lester Bangs of Furniture Retail and Other Home-improvement HorrorsBy
Mark Peters
I’d probably enjoy reading legendary music critic Lester Bangs even if he wrote about kidney stones or golf tournaments. He was just that good…Every so-called Lester Bangs of what-have-you below should be flattered. |
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