 The Whitney Houston of Cheese Sandwiches and Other Lunchtime LooniesBy
Mark Peters
Whether you think of her as a gorgeous and talented singer or the train wreck who made the phrase “Crack is whack” famous, chances are Ms. Houston occupies a certain amount of real estate in your memory.  The Kurt Cobain of Mannequins and Other Storefront SurprisesBy
Mark Peters
Though experts agree his music was, to use a technical term, “awesome,” the name of Kurt Cobain has marinated in lexical juices that are a little less groovy.  The Paula Abdul of Philosophy and Other Mind-bendersBy
Mark Peters
But even though I know somewhere between diddly-poo and zilchola about good ol’ Paula, the linguistic evidence speaks volumes. Based on the quotations below, I can only assume Paula is the kind of judge who would say even I could sing, and I can’t carry a tune from my ass to my elbow.  The Miles Davis of Beans and Other Gas GiantsBy
Mark Peters
I’ll tell you, I would love to be the Miles Davis of anything, even the Miles Davis of guys who eat coffee cake for breakfast every day. It’s on my to-do list, right between “build a moat” and “hire reliable hench-poodles” .  The Pink Floyd of Nature and Other Kooky CrittersBy
Mark Peters
Because of the awesomeness, oddness, classic-ness, concept-albumness, and drugginess of their music, Pink Floyd are a reliable comparison maker.  The Hall and Oates of Donuts and Other Sugary DelightsBy
Mark Peters
Turning from childhood delusions to linguistic analysis, there doesn’t seem to be one clear meaning conveyed by the phrase “The Hall and Oates of X.” They’re just a familiar twosome used to convey duo-ness, like Batman and Robin, bacon and eggs, or holidays and alcohol.  The Black Sabbath of Deodorants and Other Heavy-duty ProtectorsBy
Mark Peters
When it comes to heavy metal, metal so heavy it could withstand a Cylon attack while housing an equally hellacious Satanic smackdown, you can’t do any better than the Birmingham foursome. Has there ever been a better protest song than “War Pigs”? A better song about metal monsters killing everybody than “Iron Man”? Not in my world.  The Elton John of Diving and Other Sea MonstersBy
Mark Peters
Somehow, recently ended up hearing an entire Billy Joel and Elton John concert for free, which would have been an amazing experience, if I didn’t find the music of both keyboard-pounding crooners as nauseating as that time my dog rolled in horse poo, or the fact that my hometown Buffalo Bills lost four Super Bowls in a row. But never fear! I think Elton John comparisons are just swell. Billy Joel comparisons are another story… |
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