X is the Y of Z

“X is the Y of Z” is a snowclone–an adaptable, Mad Libs-like idiom like “May I compare thee to an X?”, “X is the new Y,” and “I for one welcome our new X overlords.” This snowclone touches on every subject imaginable, including music. So without further adieu, today’s topic is…

Eric Clapton

I’m not very religious. Even on a good day, I have trouble believing in angels, devils, or smurfs — though I swear some of those blue bastards keep peeing in my shoes.

Among the world’s diverse religious beliefs is the notion ERIC CLAPTON IS GOD. It’s hardly the wackiest idea, and it has more evidence behind it than most. Unlike Zeus and Wilt Chamberlain, Eric Clapton is as real as you or me, only considerably more awesome.

It’s this God-y sense of Eric Clapton that animates almost all the following citations. Being “The Eric Clapton of anything” is a helluva compliment. Word is, even God himself enjoys being called “The Eric Clapton of Gods”—though it gets on Zeus’ nerves, sources say.

“It’s like the piano player is the Jerry Lee Lewis of Irish piano. And the button accordion player is the Eric Clapton of button accordion players. And they all got together for the first time, for one album.”

(July 15, 2009, Michael Downs, The Greatest Show)

“As we get older, this plasticity decreases. But with the plasticity we lose, we gain a lot of things as well. Our language skills improve. Our coordination is better. Our behavior is refined. But, sometimes, certain circuits become too refined. We become the Eric Clapton of eating donuts, or the Hank Aaron of shooting heroine, or the Michael Jordan of feeling blue. And nobody really knows why we get addicted to things, or why we develop depression seemingly out of nowhere. We do have an idea of what the brain looks like when you get there, though.”

(May 14, 2009, Mind at Large)

“We adapted this recipe from David Rosengarten’s ‘Dean & DeLuca Cookbook.’ Rosengarten is the Eric Clapton of the kitchen. His wine reviews are pretty damned good, too. Our version of this dish is a bit richer than the original, as if that were needed. The Raclette gives this a neat funky quality that matches better with wine.”

(Jan. 25, 2009, The Stupids)

“On a completely different tack, I just checked out from the public library the book, Chasing the Flame: Sergio Viera de Mello and the Fight to Save the World by Samantha Power.


This is a fantastic book about a fascinating life. And what an amazing man who was the ultimate insider who wanted to do right for mankind and had his successes. But his death was also enigmatic of the human dilemma — he could have survived that bombing of his office building in Baghdad if help would have arrived promptly, but his life ebbed away even as he periodically communicated with potential rescuers. Very tragic! But what an amazing life! And I just read another amazing autobiography about musician Eric Clapton, who has had a really messed up life in many ways, but whose turmoils and talents have left behind a trail of amazing music. Sergio Viera de Mello was sort of the Eric Clapton of world affairs — read the two books back to back like I did and you will see what I mean ”

(Oct. 28, 2008, Stan Moore, Feral Scholar)

“Anyhow, back to Aquarius. I told him I could meet him for a quick lunch, since my salon is close to where he lives, but then I had to keep moving. He decided he wanted to meet me at my salon. Comes in looking like a Hell’s Angel, which the girls all thought was very funny, and proceeded to tell my stylist ‘not too short!’ which she and I both laughed it off — I told her she’s the Eric Clapton of hair (She is God) and if she decided to hack off a chunk right from the top of my skull I’d trust her on it.”

(July 18, 2008, The Dancing Angel Cafe)

“All your usual suspects are here on this comp, Mr. Fripp, Mr. Eno, Mr. Harold Budd, Mr. Tangerine Dream. Fripp & Eno’s acknowledged classic ‘Evening Star’ is here, evidence alone of Mr. Fripp’s status as the Eric Clapton of Boring Music. The whole thing is just an epic list of early ethereal compositions and bugged-out melodic drift. Get with it, it wears a beard. Homeless wizards listen to it while doing yoga. Also Harold Budd’s piano playing is just sick.”

(July 13, 2008, Acknowledged Classic)

“She’s the queen of cheering, the princess of signage, the Eric Clapton of the cowbell, and my #1 running fan.  She’s every marathoner dad’s dream.  She’s my daughter, Laura.”

(Oct. 1, 2007, Tom Green, Runner’s Lounge)

“It’s truly an awesome noise, and the intoxicated Para is like a man possessed. As random members of the previous band wander bewilderedly in the background, trying to salvage what’s left of their equipment, Para performs a staggering array of aural pyrotechnics, seizing on a synth riff and mutating it upwards while emitting a radiant glow of almost orgasmic concentration. Truly, he’s the Eric Clapton of knob-twiddling. A sizeable crowd gradually filters back in, fascinated by the spectacle, and the promoter is clearly impressed, too, for when Para re-emerges from his aural- erotic reverie he discovers a flute of Champagne carefully placed on his otherwise redundant right-hand deck. The ultimate gift for such a gentleman.”

(March 29, 2007, Si Hawkins, Urb Magazine)

Mark Peters is a language columnist and humorist who writes for Good, Visual Thesaurus and other mags, while maintaining too many blogs, including Wordlustitude, The Rosa Parks of Blogs, and The Pancake Proverbs.

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