X is the Y of Z

“X is the Y of Z” is a snowclone–an adaptable, Mad Libs-like idiom like “May I compare thee to an X?”, “X is the new Y,” and “I for one welcome our new X overlords.” This snowclone touches on every subject imaginable, including music. So without further adieu, today’s topic is…

The Jonas Brothers

As a 37-year-old geezer, I think I can be excused for never having listened to the Jonas brothers. Actually, that may be the best part of being 37. (The worst part? When I see the beer store chick type in “40” for my age. Ugh).

Nonetheless, in the interests of journalism, I decided to listen to a Jonas brothers song, while gazing intently at a picture of them, hoping that their mysteries might be revealed, like an ancient parchment holding the sacred scriptures of a lost civilization.

Then I decided, nah, I’m too old for that shit. Just forget it. If you’re as oblivious as I am, I congratulate you. I really think we’re the lucky ones.

“The Jonas Brothers of Vampire Movies”

(Aug. 6, 2009, methodicalneuropathy)

“It’s brilliant. I showed it to some of my colleagues (only the ones under 35) and we all loved it. It’s like… Rick Astley is the Jonas Brothers of 1987! And Nirvana is the epitome of our teenage angst and hormone fog! And we squoosh them together to make something that is nostalgic and wince-worthy, and also bizarrely addictive.”

(July 21, 2009, Self-similar)

“or he was out of babies blood to sign the devils..err dana’s contract lol 
I wouldn’t piss on dana if he was on fire. he is the White Don King, lining his pockets off the sweat and blood of fighters all too willing to sign their independance away for the glory of fighting in the ‘jonas brothers’ of mma. perhaps fedor has more loyalty to his own people than to sell his soul for a paycheck, wow put that way… WHO WOULDN”T SIGN? lol”

(Aug. 2009, YouTube)

“Metallica has become the Jonas Brothers of soft metal. That’s right, I declare them soft metal. Listen to Soulfly or Testament.”

(July 13, 2009, Chile Renovables)

“The Skaggs brothers = the Jonas brothers of trail running. It’s just a matter of time before they get their own Disney special. Then trail running will finally boom with all the tweeners.”

(May 20, 2009, Runner’s World)

“Charlie Watts is basically the Jonas Brothers of the Rolling Stones.”

(May 3, 2009, MetaFilter)

“See, in my world, stars don’t come any bigger than Newt Gingrich, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney and Mike Pence (if there were a congressional version of Teen Beat, the Indiana congressman would be on its cover every month). Michael Steele, Mike Huckabee and John Boehner are the Jonas Brothers of conservative celebrity.”

(Feb. 22, 2009, SE Cupp, The Seminal)

“Thomas the Tank Engine: The Jonas Brothers of the Toddler Set?”

(Jan. 3, 2009, Little Boogie Downer)

Mark Peters is a language columnist and humorist who writes for Good, Visual Thesaurus and other mags, while maintaining too many blogs, including Wordlustitude, The Rosa Parks of Blogs, and The Pancake Proverbs.

No Comments »