X is the Y of Z

“X is the Y of Z” is a snowclone–an adaptable, Mad Libs-like idiom like “May I compare thee to an X?”, “X is the new Y,” and “I for one welcome our new X overlords.” This snowclone touches on every subject imaginable, including music. So without further adieu, today’s topic is…

Whitney Houston

Whether you think of her as a gorgeous and talented singer or the train wreck who made the phrase “Crack is whack” famous, chances are Ms. Houston occupies a certain amount of real estate in your memory. She’s a cautionary tale, and an enormous pile of talent, and thanks to her, we know the children—not the Cylons—are the future. That one surprised me.

As you can see from the citations below, like Cylons, there are Whitney Houstons everywhere, in diverse places fields such as Belgian cycling, major league pitching, memoir writing, professional wrestling, and personal showering. However, there is no truth to the rumor that Jane Goodall, upon being called the Whitney Houston of primatology, began to doubt evolution and even the whackness of crack as well.

“I must admit that I was kinda shaking (again, with excitement) when I told her she’s a great inspiration though she just looked at me slowly and smiled. She’s pretty much the Whitney Houston of primatology, so she needs her diva moment. I will write more about the book once I am done with it.”

(Sept. 4, 2009, Raymond Ho, The Prancing Papio)

“White or yellow cheese? On a plate or in a bag? Triangles or squares? Cold or hot? My son is the Whitney Houston of cheese sandwiches.”

(July 20, 2009, Wry Redhead)

“you’ve shot the whitney houston of parakeets!”

(Dec. 17, 2008, Cheltenham Daily Photo)

“Amy Winehouse, the Whitney Houston of soulful white British chanteuses, had a simple request for her dressing room at a festival concert. Nothing complicated – just 48 bottles of Jack Daniels in her dressing room before the show. No meat plate or vegetable garnish. Or pain in the ass ice cubes. Just the booze, thank you very much. Click here to read more about it.”

(Sept. 5, 2008, TONAL)

“Yes I am highly (?) depressed. Deeply depressed. Because I am forcing myself into giving up drugs plus writing my memoirs all in one. I keep telling myself I’m the Whitney Houston of memoirists in order to spur myself on but it’s not working.”

(Aug. 29, 2007, Gledwood Vol. 2)

“In an auto-biography to be published next month, Frank Vandenbroucke, the Whitney Houston of Belgian cycling, admits to having used EPO in the past.”

(Jan. 21, 2007, Cycopaths)

“Kurt Angle is the Whitney Houston of wrestling: lots of natural gifts, no real ability to put those gifts together in a meaningful way, and an embarrassing drug casualty. Is it possible that with the right material, the right arranger, with Joe in the control booth these two could have a good collaboration…where Whitney’s talents can be put to work for a solid song?? Yes.”

(Dec. 16, 2006, Segunda Caida)

“Was she the Dwight Gooden of singers, or was he the Whitney Houston of pitchers? Did we ever figure that out?”

(Aug. 4, 2006, Bill Simmons, ESPN Page 2)

“I suppose since Gir is incredibly immature yet pathetically hysterical and clinically insane 

that makes him 

The Whitney Houston of the cartoon world?”

(May 16, 2006, IGN Boards)

“7. DO YOU LIKE TO SING IN THE SHOWER?: i’m the whitney houston of showers”

(Oct. 29, 2003, Livejournal)

Mark Peters is a language columnist and humorist who writes for Good, Visual Thesaurus and other mags, while maintaining too many blogs, including Wordlustitude, The Rosa Parks of Blogs, and The Pancake Proverbs.

No Comments »