Baker's Dozen
To depend upon a profession is a less odious form of slavery than to depend upon a father. – Virginia Woolf
Inevitably, whenever you meet somebody new, that person is likely to ask, “So, what do you do?” And by “do” they don’t mean what are your hobbies or what do you like to do on the weekends. They’re asking how you make a living. Oftentimes, and however unfairly, your answer to this question will be judged, helping them to form a first impression of you. C’mon, we’re all guilty of this. “Oh, you’re an accountant.” (Translation: boring); Actor? (Translation: waiter). Personal injury lawyer? (Translation: leech). You get the picture.
This week’s Baker’s Dozen looks at various professions as immortalized in song. Some of them are sympathetic portrayals of the vocation in question (”Coalminers”) while others are damning indictments of the lot (”Politican”). Either way, they all have something interesting to say about a variety of jobs.
“Witch Doctor”
Hugh Masekela
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This grooving Masekela track tells of King Leopold’s murderous conquest of the Congo, carried out by proxy at the hands of the Belgian ruler’s friend, Sir Henry Morton Stanley. The term “Witch Doctor” was often used by early colonialists as a derogatory term for African shamen, a gesture that aimed to undermine the African culture.
“Waitress in the Sky”
The Replacements
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Sounds like Paul Westerberg had a less than pleasant flying experience prior to penning this classic, albeit snide, ode to flight attendants. “She don’t wear no pants and she don’t wear no tie/Always on the ball, she’s always on strike/Struttin’ up the aisle, big deal, you get to fly/You ain’t nothin’ but a waitress in the sky.” Ouch!
“Politician”
Cream
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Oh, how apropos! Although written forty years ago, in the wake of the Mark Sanford, John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, etc. etc. etc. scandals, this Cream track says it all: “Hey now baby, get into my big black car/I want to just show you what my politics are.”
“Reverend Lee”
Roberta Flack
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Written by Eddie McDaniels, this sultry soul burner tells the tale of a Southern pastor struggling with lustful thoughts and asking God to help him overcome them. Flack’s intro says it all: “This is a song about a very big, strong, black, sexy Southern Baptist minister who thinks he has his program all together. Until he runs up against a lady who shows him that he ain’t got it together.”
“Art Teacher”
Rufus Wainwright
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This interesting track is written from the point of view of a successful business woman looking back at a rather intense schoolgirl crush she had on her art teacher. She recalls a class trip to the Met where the teacher told her of his love for Turner: “He told me he liked Turner/Never have I turned since then/No, never have I turned to any other man.” Although she later married, her devotion to her former art teacher remains: “All this having been said/I married an executive company head/All this having been done, a Turner – I own one…I was just a girl then/Never have I loved since then.”
“Night Nurse”
Gregory Isaacs
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Apparently Gregory Isaacs believes that a night nurse can help mend his broken heart. I’m guessing he’s looking for medicine of the non-traditional kind. However dubious, his plea sounds quite convincing: “I don’t wanna see no doc/I need attendance from my nurse around the clock/’Cause there’s no prescription for me/She’s the one, the only remedy.”
“Will Your Lawyer Talk to God”
Kitty Wells
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He might have fared well with the civil divorce, but Kitty Wells ain’t sure her soon to be ex-husband will pass muster with the big Judge in the sky: “Will your lawyer talk to God, and plead your case up on high/And defend the way you broke my heart in two/Man made laws to set you free on earth, but is God satisfied/Will your lawyer talk to God for you?”
“I Am a Scientist”
Guided By Voices
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This clever track finds Robert Pollard comparing himself to a host of professions in an attempt to figure himself out: “I am a scientist – I seek to understand me/All of my impurities and evils yet unknown/I am a journalist – I write to you to show you/I am an incurable/And nothing else behaves like me.”
“Now I’m a Farmer”
The Who
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This cheeky song from Odds and Sods seems to be making a statement about farming subsidies, but the political message gets lost in the whimsy of the lyrics and their delivery. Nevertheless, this bouncy tune sure is fun. “It’s alarming how charming it is to be a-farming/How calming and balming the effect of the air/When you grow what I grow/Tomatoes, potatoes, stew, eggplants …”
“Coalminers”
Uncle Tupelo
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Uncle Tupelo’s take on Sarah Ogan Gunning’s 1937 protest song “Come All Ye Coal Miners” seethes with anger and righteous outrage at the exploitation of the purveyors of this dangerous, but invaluable trade. The wife of a miner, Gunning doesn’t mince words in her powerful call to arms: “I am a coalminer and I’m sure I wish you well/let’s sink this capitalist system/to the darkest pits of hell.”
“Last of the Blacksmiths”
The Band
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A poignant meditation on technological progress, The Band’s “Last of the Blacksmith” astutely asks, “Have mercy, cried the blacksmith/How’re you gonna replace human hands?” The answer is sad, but logical, “Found guilty, said the judge/for not being in demand.”
“Police and Thieves”
Junior Murvin
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Famously covered by The Clash on their 1977 debut, “Police and Thieves” is a classic reggae track that’s a no-brainer for this list. The song actually salutes two professions, one on each side of the law – although the lyrics make you question whether or not that’s actually the case, especially with lines like “all the peacemakers turn war officers.” You decide.
“Grandpa Was a Carpenter”
John Prine
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This country classic is a nostalgic portrait of the songwriter’s grandparents. They were hard working folks who left quite an impression on the young Prine: “Grandpa was a carpenter/He built houses stores and banks/Chain smoked camel cigarettes/And hammered nails in planks/He was level on the level/And shaved even every door/And voted for Eisenhower/cause Lincoln won the war.”
