Album Review

The Von Bondies are one of those outfits that have been floating around for about ten years now. They usually don’t pop up on anyone’s list of extra-special favorite bands, but somehow they manage to keep a somewhat high-profile, even pulling off a recent guest spot on Letterman.

As far as I can tell, this band is famous for three things. One: Their song “C’mon C’mon” is the theme song for the television series Rescue Me. Two: Founding member Marcie Bolen dated Jack White for a bit, and less notably, James Iha (former guitarist for the Smashing Pumpkins in case you forgot.) Three: Lead singer Jason Stollsteimer got his butt kicked by Jack White in a Detroit night club in 2003. I doubt they are plastering this all over the press release, though.

Even if the band had their sound down before the rise of the Strokes and the White Stripes, they certainly rode on the coattails of their success. Just like other bands rocking the garage-rock revival such as the Mooney Suzuki, the Hives, and the Vines, the Von Blondies were seemingly the right sound at the right time.

But now, sans the White Stripes, what has become of these bands? Most fell off the map almost immediately (see the Mooney Suzuki) others are trapped in an alternate reality in which they think they are the greatest band on Earth (the Hives) and others have simply had singers who have fallen victim to Asberger’s Syndrome (the Vines).

Yes, although time has not been as tough on the early 2000’s garage rock soldiers as it has been on, say, hair metal, it has not been particularly kind to the either. It seems like every ten years or so the masses demand a band that rocks out with raw intensity, sloppiness, and passion, but they only want that band for about a year. After that you better have a degree to fall back on.

But somehow the Von Bondies have stuck around, and in 2009 we find the band ushering in their new, more polished sound with Love, Hate And Then There’s You. This is kinda funny since you would have figured the polish would have gone hand in hand with the major label album (2004’s Pawn Shoppe Heart on Sire), but we now find the gloss courtesy of Majordomo Records.

So what does this new album sound like? It sounds like an extremely polished garage-rock album. So basically it sounds all wrong. If this had been recorded in an actual garage, I would assume that it would have to have been in a house in which everything except the garage had been converted into a giant garage, and that the rest of the house (bedrooms, bathrooms, etc) would have to have been crammed into the usual garage space. This gigantic garage could not only house a trio of H2’s, but enough space for multiple drum kits, a grand piano, a separate control room, a lounge with expensive upholstery, a 52 inch flat screen TV that wouldn’t have to be mounted to the wall due to spatial concerns, and, of course, a ping-pong table. That is the type of garage this album sounds like it was recorded in.

For garage rock to work correctly, it has to be delivered raw. If you want to step up the production, you need to switch up the song style as well. On this record the Von Bondies are attempting to get the best of both worlds, and it doesn’t work. Sure there are a couple of bright spots, the single “Pale Bride” really succeeds as a straight ahead rocker, as does the poppier excursion “21st Birthday,” but duds such as the wanna-be 80’s movie anthem “This Is Our Perfect Crime,” and the hate letter “She’s Dead To Me” reveal a band that seems desperate to figure out a new identity – just like the rest of early 2000 garage rock leftovers.

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