X is the Y of Z

“X is the Y of Z” is a snowclone–an adaptable, Mad Libs-like idiom like “May I compare thee to an X?”, “X is the new Y,” and “I for one welcome our new X overlords.” This snowclone touches on every subject imaginable, including music. So without further adieu, today’s topic is…

Barry White

Men, women, and woodland critters all around the world put on a little Barry White when they want to make sweet love to their main squeeze. But the late soul-man is more than the supreme mood-setter: his name is fodder for all sorts of batty comparisons that I hope won’t make him roll over in his grave:

“Timothy McVeigh, the dude that blew up that building in Oklahoma city was pretty cool though. Not even on the same level as Bundy or Gein, but interesting none the less. He voted in an election while on death row, which I think is pretty cool, but the most interesting thing about him is that his last meal was two pints of chocolate mint ice-cream. Having a dessert as your last meal is just hilarious in my mind. Of all the meals that he could have had, he thought to himself, “man, I could really go for some ice-cream about now!”

Bundy is still the Barry White of serial killers though.”

(Feb. 1, 2009, Pictures and Words)

“But there is far more shocking news emerging from Scotland today, surrounding smooth-voiced Charles ‘Chick’ Young (right), often rightly called the Barry White of Scottish sports reporting for his mellow broadcast reflection on matters both on and off the pitch and who, for a man of such fame, is well-known for the remarkable modesty with which he holds his many views.”

(Oct. 30, 2008, Neil McIntosh, Completetosh.com)

“I also enjoyed Benjamin Law’s interview with David Sedaris, in which he gives readers tips for giving up smoking, ‘Exposing your s(h)elf’ by Caro Cooper, in which the book shelf is held up for judgement (my sister and I both laughed out loud reading this one), Edmund Burke’s ‘Like a biccie?’ road test and Mia Timpano’s witty/naughty toothpaste reviews (Macleans Extra Clean is the ‘Barry White of toothpaste’) The ‘I love my shop’ DPS is also very inviting and cosy and cute, while the ‘…watch listen/ …eat read’ restaurant/café, album, movie and book reviews provide for quite pleasurable snippets of prose.”

(July 4, 2008, Erica Bartle, Girl With a Satchel)

“I only believe in what I can see. But if there were a boogeyman, he’d slither around to Leonard Cohen’s later works, when the dude’s voice got three-pack-a-day deep and rough. Cohen’s music has this weirdly seductive sense of doom. He’s the Barry White of the Apocalypse.”

(May 12, 2008, Jeri Smith-Ready, Jackie Kessler)

“The ‘Barry White’ of Babies

He may not be smiling but just look into those alluring eyes ladies! He is the baby Barry White.
This look is his Blue Steel. His Magnum.
He calls it: ‘Purple Reign’
Run ladies, run.”

(Dec. 24, 2007, Superchikk)

“Thank you to Karen for today’s submission. This is definitely the Barry White of the vegetable world, a true luuuurve carrot…”

(Sept. 19, 2007, Love Carrots and Other Vegetables)

“I double-dog dare you to put the phrase, ‘The Barry White of the Medical Blogosphere’, on your business cards! (And then send me one.)”

(Aug. 29, 2006, KevinMD.com)

“Sugar Bear: Seriously, just listen to that smooth, velvety voice. He’s clearly the Barry White of cereal mascots.”

(April 26, 2006, AdJab)

“The Drink: My friend Kitty Campbell swears this drink got its name because bartenders like to hear women say it out loud, but, come on, what else are you going to call a concoction of Butterscotch Schnapps and Bailey’s Irish Cream? This drink is the Barry White of the cream liqueur universe. Sweet, smooth, with a warmth and fullness that helps you understand how it got the risqué name.”

(March 9, 2006, The Sips Blog)

Mark Peters is a language columnist and humorist who writes for Good, Visual Thesaurus and other mags, while maintaining too many blogs, including Wordlustitude, The Rosa Parks of Blogs, and The Pancake Proverbs.

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