Commentary

An individual unfortunately reported to actually be David Berman recently posted on the official Silver Jews message board that the band was finished. In a bizarre twist, he went on to reveal that his father, Richard Berman, is a tyrannical Washington lawyer akin to Damien Thorn (version 3.0 from Omen 3: The Final Conflict ) and that he (David) is a writer first and foremost. Screenwriting and muckraking were cited as potential future endeavors, music was not.

The second post relating to his father was especially revealing. Imagine seeing this passage popping up on the holiday cards:

“My father is a despicable man. My father is a sort of human molester. An exploiter. A scoundrel. A world historical motherfucking son of a bitch. (sorry grandma).”

Well at least he apologized to his grandma.

(For an in-depth look at the father of head Silver Jew, check out http://www.bermanexposed.org/, an entire site created by Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) that’s “dedicated to exposing lobbyist Richard Berman’s activities, his myriad front groups and projects, his employees’ work, and his firm’s tactics.”)

You will find that Richard Berman may be a tough fit as a father for a guy like David. In fact, you can say that they’re almost complete polar opposites. It’s amazing the tricks DNA can play.

Near the end of the post David states, “In a way I am the son of a demon come to make good the damage.” He then goes on to say, “Previously I thought, through songs and poems and drawings I could find and build a refuge away from his world. But there is the matter of Justice…There needs to be something more. I’ll see what that might be.”

So what have we learned here? First and foremost, David is the present-day incarnation of Luke Skywalker, and second, songs and poems and drawings can’t stop an evil dark lord, they can only provide temporary shelter from his AT-AT’s and tractor beams. To the latter point I say wrong!

Songs and poems are a great method of civil protest, and even better, they are catchy as hell. The Joos at their best were always worthy of sing-along status (see “Smith And Jones Forever” for further proof.) Now all you gotta do is switch the content of said songs to anti-Richard Berman propaganda rock. Potential titles could be “My Father, The Human Molester,” “Son Of A Demon,” “Sorry Grandma.” Throw in David’s ingenious use of wordplay to attack the devious corporations his father fronts and we’re all set. And since David was always an ace at writing a catchy tune smothered with intelligent lyrical insight (see the brilliant “San Francisco, B.C.”) you know he could get the point across. Now the final step, give away some of those songs to a couple of high-powered liberal powerhouses (MSNBC, Greenpeace, Sean Hanity err, maybe not the latter) to fight the good fight. Soon enough everyone in the good ol’ US of A will be singing the words to “My Father, The Human Molester.”

And if he does bring the band back (which he definitely should after this short period of uncertainty) he should step it up a notch. The Joos are too good to be finishing second. I feel that we are about to enter the era of the Golden Jews. The ace crime-fighting unit with the most bad-ass Hebrew on the block fighting the good fight, via song. You know, like that old 80’s cartoon, Jem. Although I’m pretty sure she wasn’t Jewish.

As you can see David, just when you thought songs and poems and drawings couldn’t change the world you forgot you had the greatest weapon in your quiver all along. Your father does not need to be bombed, shot at or sanctioned, he just needs to be educated. And if he is at all like you (which he may in fact not be – are you absolutely positive that dude’s actually your dad?), I’m sure he can’t resist the temptation of a catchy song. Just make sure that tune he’s singing along to clue him in to the evils he is perpetrating, and then the Empire shall fall.

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