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To most Beatles fans, choosing between the songs of the Fab 4 is a bit like choosing between children. But, on the JamsBio exclusive, Playing The Beatles Backward, one intrepid fan dares to rank the original songs of The Beatles and give his reasons why in a worst-to-first countdown. Check back each day for the next five songs on the list, prepare to hit the message boards to defend your favorites, and follow the countdown all the way to Number 1.

The complete list to date.

The Last Five:

89. “What You’re Doing”

88. “I Need You”

87. “You Can’t Do That”

86. “I Will”

85. “Eight Days A Week”

84. “Drive My Car”

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“Beep-beep, yeah!” Laden with innuendo and grooving on a soulful George Harrison guitar lick, “Drive My Car” is one of the sexiest tracks the Fab 4 ever laid down. But it’s not overdone, keeping its sense of fun about all the lascivious shenanigans the lyrics suggest.

Of course, you could just take it at face value and read it as the tale of a lonely woman in search of a chauffeur. Then again, one listen to the way John Lennon practically jive-talks while harmonizing with Paul McCartney in the song’s final verse should be enough to tell you that the boys had more than transportation on their minds.

Lennon was the one who suggested McCartney work harder on the song, which originally contained the rather square refrain, “You can give me golden rings.” This was the essence of what made their songwriting partnership special. They weren’t afraid to edit each other or expose hard truths about the other’s material.

That’s Paul on the melodic yet fiery guitar solo in the instrumental break. And that’s John on the cowbell, banging with unhinged abandon. The song may have been an odd starter for the contemplative Rubber Soul. No matter. Like the girl in the song, “Drive My Car” delivers a hell of a ride.

83. “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise)”

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The ironic thing about the album often listed as the greatest rock album of all time is that it rarely rocks at all. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, as an album, chimes, drones, flutters, wanders, trips, lilts, and even oompahs a little bit. But does it ever let its hair down and rawk?

It certainly does on the reprise of the title track, if only for the brief length of scarcely over a minute. Whereas the album opening version of this song lumbers a bit and provides space for the brass to make its dignified commentary, the reprise clears the stage and lets the Fab 4 dance with the girl that brought them to this point: unadulterated, unexpurgated, glass-shattering, teeth-rattling rock. (Sorry about that. The spirit of Don King invaded my body for just a second there. Much better now.)

Has there ever been a time when the drums of Ringo Starr crackled so crisply as on the intro to the reprise? And when the crunching guitar wave rolls in, the harrumphing crowd quickly snaps to attention. The tempo is even sped up full-throttle from start to finish until the plaintive guitar of “A Day In The Life” gently butts in.

It makes you think that Sgt. Pepper had a garage band at some point in his career. Or maybe he gave his Lonely Hearts Club Band five and let a little-known group calling themselves The Beatles take the stage. By the sound of this song, I’d say they have a future in this business.

82. “Wait”

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There’s a magnificent moodiness to “Wait” that gives the song a far greater level of depth than many of The Beatles’ similar laments about being away from their women. The music is sullen and uneasy; the lyrics can’t promise that a reunion will ever happen.

And if it does, it might not be a happy one. Paul and John harmonize throughout, but it’s a sadder sound than what we expect, especially when they sing, “If your heart breaks/Don’t wait/Turn me away.” And there is a bit of ambiguity to the supposed faithfulness of the man in the song. “I’ve been good,” Paul sings in the bridge, before qualifying that with, “As good as I can be.” Maybe the emotional distance here is just as wide as the physical.

The tambourine clashing throughout provides little reassurance. In fact, it just adds to the uneasiness of the entire production. The guitars squawk as if afraid to speak up, and the minor-key tension never quite releases. Notice also how John and Paul don’t end on a positive note. They end with the phrase, “Oh how I’ve been alone,” drawing it out to preserve every drop of misery.

“Wait” keeps us guessing just enough, and then never really solves any of the mysteries it poses. We’ll never know if he got back in time, and that open-endedness makes this song much more fascinating than its surface sheen might suggest.

81. “She’s A Woman”

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What other group do you know of that has their B-sides still played on radio 45 years after their release? I can only think of one, Jack. “She’s A Woman” is the B-side to “I Feel Fine” and yet it’s still a regular on oldies channels and got some recent limelight from a version of it on American Idol so bat-shit crazy that the judges applauded simply because they couldn’t just sit there slack-jawed in confusion like the rest of the nation.

Maybe that insane cover was fitting, because Paul’s lyrics are a little loopy as well. He depicts the good qualities of his love by making a series of statements about her that at times seem to have little cohesion with each other. You half expect him to go down really bizarre tangents like, “She likes peanut butter in her coffee” or “She has 11 toes.” It really wouldn’t shatter the effect so much.

It’s all good though, because the music that accompanies those lyrics is a pretty unique concoction that surprises no matter how many times it’s heard. The chunky staccato guitars always gave it an R&B feel to me, but Paul’s melody seems more C&W. All those initials somehow add up to an irresistible tune in typically effortless McCartney fashion, and a B-side that brings the group’s A-game to the table.

80. “I’m Only Sleeping”

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John Lennon makes quite a convincing case for lethargy on this Revolver outing, aided by the hypnotic reversed guitars that flawlessly evoke a blissful reverie. As for those who would try to intrude on his slumber, John dismisses them simply and hilariously: “Everybody seems to think I’m lazy/I don’t mind, I think they’re crazy.”

It’s easy to read drug references into this song, especially considering the timing of its release on the group’s most psychedelic album to that point. But I think John was simply espousing the value of a good day in bed, something that The Beatles’ ridiculously busy schedule rarely afforded him. The cooing background vocals are certainly gentle enough to lull him off to beddy-bye without waking him.

That famous backward guitar is the most distinguishing characteristic of the song, a bit of inspired studio wizardry from George Martin. But check out the other subtle touches that add to the track’s tired feeling, like Paul’s tip-toeing bass and the way the song practically stops on several occasions, as if, persuaded by John’s alluring argument, it dozed off itself.

Lest anyone think that they can get one over on him while he’s asleep, John assures them he’ll be watching out his window now and then. In the meantime, he’ll get his forty winks, making slumber sound like the most intoxicating drug of all.