Book Review

Love really is a mix tape

Several months ago, I found myself encompassed by a wave of nostalgia. I pined away days dreaming of the lost art of making a true mix tape – on cassette. I thought of the boxes of cassettes I had stored down in the basement, each cleverly labeled with a line from a Ginsberg poem or a snippet of a lyric. Although I no longer have the means to play them, I haven’t been able to get rid of them. They are as much a part of me as my ears and my fingertips. They are inner snapshots of who I was at that particular moment, good or bad.

They are the “joy of life” tapes; the “freedom of the first car on an open road” tapes; the “I’m in love with you but I can’t say it” tapes; the relationship tapes; the heartbroken breakup tapes; the being single isn’t so bad, “You go, girl” tapes; and the “these are the best years of my life” tapes. I thought about the time and love I poured into making them. I still can’t help but feel that the perfect mix tape is the closest I’ll ever come to holding a masterpiece in my hands.

During this look back, I felt inspired: I wanted to write the ultimate love song to making a mix tape. Boldly, I posted this concept on my Facebook profile and within a few hours, I had a note from my friend, Nate, in Boston:

Love is a Mix Tape” by Rob Sheffield. Read it.

Immediately the book was on my list of to-dos, unfortunately I only recently got around to picking it up. Within the first few pages of reading, I realized my love song had already been written. Everything and anything I had wanted to say about music and mix tapes were in those pages staring up at me, and so much more.

Sheffield, the author and a writer for Rolling Stone, writes: “I have built my entire life around loving music, and I surround myself with it. I’m always racing to catch up with my next favorite song. But I never stop playing mixes. Every fan makes them. The times you lived through, the people you’ve shared those times with – nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain matter can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they add up to the story of a life.”

Love is a Mix Tape is the chronicle of two great loves: Sheffield’s relationship with his wife, Renee, who died tragically at the age of 31; and his love of music – its ability to bring people together, its ability to change lives. In it, their story is told through their mix tapes.

Sheffield shares his and Renee’s story with such amazing love – two young kids who had nothing in common except their love of music, and ultimately each other. From their introduction via a Big Star song, he fills the pages with humorous vignettes and snapshots of their music-filled lives. He relives their years together and brings her back to life with such vivid passion, it’s hard not to fall in love with her as he did.

“Falling in love with Renee was not the kind of thing you walk away from in one piece. I had no chance. She put a hitch in my git-along. She would wake up in the middle of the night and say things like ‘What if Bad Bad Leroy Brown was a girl?’ or ‘Why don’t they have commercials for salt like they do for milk?’ Then she would fall back to sleep, while I would lie awake and give thanks for this alien creature beside whom I rested.”

“Renee was a real cool hell-raising Appalachian punk-rock girl. Her favorite song was the Rolling Stones’ ‘Let’s Spend the Night Together.’ Her favorite album was Pavement’s Slanted and Enchanted. She rooted for the Atlanta Braves and sewed her own silver vinyl pants. She knew which kind of screwdriver was which. She baked pies, but not very often. She could rap Roxanne Shante’s ‘Go on Girl’ all the way through. She called Eudora Welty ‘Miss Eudora.’ She had an MFA in fiction but never got any stories published, but she kept writing them anyway. She bought too many shoes and dyed her hair red. Her voice was full of the frazzle and crackle of music.”

Upon her death, Sheffield shares his pain and sense of loss with such intimacy you can’t help but find yourself in his shoes.

“I had no voice to talk with because she was my whole language.”

I originally sat down to read the book for Sheffield’s thoughts on music, but I walked away with much, much more. There is heartache, but there is also recovery and many wonderful pages filled with humor, life and music. Countless times, I found myself laughing and silently nodding in approval as Sheffield waxes ecstatic on the various influences music has on our lives.

His breakdown of the various types of mix tapes is worth the read alone, each category lovingly explained.

“There are all kinds of mix tapes. There is always a reason to make one.”

“The Party Tape…
I Want You…
We’re Doing It? Awesome!…
You Like Music, I Like Music, I Can Tell We’re Going To Be Friends…
The Radio Tape…
The Walking Tape…”

“There are lots more where these came from. The drug tape. The commute tape. The dishes tape. The shower tape. The collection of good songs from bad albums you don’t ever want to play again. The greatest hits off your significant other’s record pile, the night before you break up. There are millions of songs in the world, and millions of ways to connection them into mixes. Making the connections is part of the fun of being a fan.”

Having found yourself on JamsBio, I can assume you have a connection with music. Some songs speak to you, some remind you of that person you can’t forget, some remind you of that person you don’t want to forget. Love is a Mix Tape is the ultimate tribute to “the memory of music.”

So, in Nate’s words: “Love is a Mix Tape.” by Rob Sheffield. Read it.

You won’t regret it.

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